Last night I was coming home around 3:30am, from a gig. I had decided to take the train home. It had been a long journey because I got on the wrong bus that took me to Avenue D and 6th street and then I had to walk to the J train.
When I got on the train I was playing around with my ipod and sort of zoning out what was around me in the train. I did notice a man “sleeping” on the bench across from me. He was Latino, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt, a pair of long shorts, he may have had cornrows or his hair was long and pulled back, he had some facial hair.
I got off the train, turned right on to my street, looked behind me to see if anyone was following me, I didn’t see anyone.
I got to my house, noticed the trash man had come, put the trash can back in the court yard by our house, noticed someone there, but ignored them as it was 3:30am and I thought they were walking by.
As I got to my stoop a man(I think it was the guy from the train) pressed his body up against my back and whispered something in my ear, I don’t remember what it was, because I was freaked out on adrenaline, but it definitely felt like a sexual attack, as he didn’t steal anything.
I yelled” GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!”
and swung my suitcase at him, this spooked him, he ran away, I kept yelling,
“GET THE FUCK OFF ME!”
I watched him run away, turn right on Lewis Avenue toward Broadway and a cop car drove right past him when he turned the corner.
I called 911, but by the time I answered all the 911 dispatcher questions, it was obvious that they were not going to catch him The cops came, 6 cops, 3 cars, but said that since I couldn’t remember what he said to me, even if I drove around the neighborhood with them, they couldn’t press charges. So I didn’t file any report.
My house mates Christopher and Sharon heard me yelling, and came down to stay with me while the cops were there. I really appreciate living in such a supportive environment.
I feel really proud that I scared him off. Though it scares me now that this man knows where I live. I can’t really live in fear, I have to live in awareness. I should be able to take the train home at night. We should live in a world where women and men should feel comfortable at any hour of the night using public transportation and walking home late at night.
I wish that Right Rides had a weekday service, they just operate on the weekends, it would be cool if there were volunteers on call just in case someone who works late weeknights could call. It’s a bummer that it only runs on Saturday nights. Maybe if TONS of people volunteered it could extend to other days of the week? Sign up to volunteer for Right Rides here!
I hope that you all stay aware when you come home late at night, trust your instinct and keep ii on, it’s probably RIGHT!
Have someone who knows where you are, know your neighbors so you are not alone if you are feeling unsafe.
Stay STRONG and AWARE!
My house mate Sharon wrote this on her blog . . .
Where did this would be attacker come from? She thinks he may have been a guy on the train she thought was sleeping on the bench near her. And although she looked behind her once as she was walking home, she didn’t see anyone. But it’s a dark street. Hey Con Ed, how about saving energy with solar powered street lights instead of dimming the ones in the neighbourhoods of color? As in this post about the 1999 NYC blackout from Breitbart:
At least one person is suing for damages, alleging Con Ed did not implement improvements after a 1999 blackout in Washington Heights. (I remember that as an intentional shutdown, the measure that would have limited this blackout. Con Ed was criticized for powering down a poor neighborhood to keep the wealthy rest of Manhattan online. Kind of like flooding the 9th Ward to save the French Quarter.)
But back to GIRL POWER, this from ESCAPE Women’s Self Defense and Empowerment Training:
We know from crime reports that women who have the highest success rate in escaping sexual assault are those who use a combination of early verbal and physical resistance. Men often test a woman’s boundaries, both verbally and physically, to determine whether or not she will prove an easy victim. Crime reports verify that women who are aware, assertive and who set verbal and physical boundaries have an excellent probability of avoiding or escaping from would-be attackers.
And their intriguing essential reading list:
Real Knockouts: The Physical Feminism of Women’s Self-Defense, by Martha McCaughey.
Back Off! How to Confront and Stop Sexual Harassment and Harassers, by Martha Langelan.
Defending Ourselves, by Rosalind Wiseman.
Stopping Rape, by Pauline Bart and Patricia O’Brien.
Safe Without Sight, by Kerry Kollmar, Wendy dAvid, and Scott McCall.
The Gift of Fear, by Gavin de Becker.
Strong On Defense, by Sanford Strong.
Self-Defense: Steps to Success by Joan M. Nelson.
Her Wits About Her by Denise Caignon.
Jeet Kune Do: Its Philosophy and Concepts, by Paul Vunak.
Transforming A Rape Culture, Emilie Buchwald, Pamela Fletcher, and Martha Roth.
The Stronger Women Get, The More Men Love Football, by Mariah Burton Nelson.
Talking Back, by bell hooks.
And if you’re thinking a woman shouldn’t be taking a train home by herself at that time of the night, read this from Defend University:
When the media presents news coverage about a man being robbed at an ATM at night, do you ever hear anyone questioning what the man was doing at an ATM at night by himself, or suggesting that men should carry a pepper spray, a chemical agent, a stun gun, or any of the other personal safety devices which are heavily marketed to women? Clearly, you do not need the assistance of a self-defense expert to identify the message which underlies the following “commandments” of women’s self-defense: women should always vary their daily routine, in case they are being watched; “women should never run alone in the park”; “women should arrange to do all their shopping and errands during daylight hours”; “women should never go out alone after dark”; “women should/women should not…” ad infinitum.
OUR RAPE CULTURE’S MESSAGE TO WOMEN IS: ALL SPACE, AT ALL TIMES, BELONGS TO MEN!
With their proclamation that “women should never go out alone after dark,” men hope to make you believe that you can keep male violence at bay with a dead bolt. “I’ll just stay home tonight,” you might rationalize, but what you would actually be agreeing to is a restriction of your personal freedom. In return for this loss of freedom, men offer you the false hope that locking yourself inside after dark will prevent them from beating you, raping you, or killing you. The United States Department of Justice documents that eight out of ten women recognize the face of their attacker, a man they trust enough to allow into their home or someone who already shares their home. According to the latest FBI statistics, one out of every four women will be targeted for sexual assault, and a woman is beaten every nine seconds.
FEEL FREE TO REPOST THIS, WE MUST SPREAD THE WORD!!
